An afterthought into the life of an asian marathoner/cyclist/science student/food vaccuum
I’ve been everything.
I’ve been the person who shuts the door, alone in their room, crying at 2 AM instead of sleeping; faking a smile, barely containing myself during the day; dragging on and on and on.
I’ve been the psychologist; I’ve listened to friends cry on the phone, I know that she cuts, that he hates himself, that she lost her mother when she was 3. I see the people’s pain, but I can’t fix it.
I’ve been a success; the person who works their ass off to reach goals, the person who has a drive.
I’ve been known as the person who loves life; who laughs louder than anyone else, who laughs at their own jokes for 20 minutes, who can put a smile on someone’s face.
I have made mistakes, I’ve done things I will always regret. I’ve hurt others.
I have been forgiven and I have forgiven. I have let go of the hardest events in my life; I have moved on and felt free.
I have loved others, been loved; I see the beauty in each person. I see the sparkle in each persons’ beautiful eyes. I’ve watched passion in others, learned to be passionate.
I have hated myself.
But I have also loved myself.
And at the end of the day, I’ve learned. I’ve learned that I’m a failure, I’m a success, I’m sad, I’m incredibly happy, I’m a gift, I have flaws, I am beautiful, I have ugliness inside.
But you know what? That’s called life.
And I couldn’t ask for anything better.